Summers Gazette: #34 Halloween Nightmares

Halloween Nightmares


MWAHAHAHAAH! Welcome puny mortals to this, the Halloween edition of the Summers Gazette, brought to you this time by the Phantom of CPW. We were especially not short of thrills on this occasion with shock and horror and jubilation at the events that unfolded before our eyes. Myself and the now zombified Caitlyn James were in charge of ceremonies as we led the crowd with Sweet Caroline, a song not in my stead as I do not listen to any music from after 1890. I must say I appreciate the masquerade we had with the CPW Galaxy, the paper, paint and rubber faces on parade were numerous, creative and in some cases rather terrifying. We had 7 matches with 3 of them having championships on the line. As wrestling analysis is not my forte either. These are the notes that young Francisco has given to me. I believe that’s what he said his name was, so these are his words and not mine. I have to say these electric typewriters and screens are quite the marvel for communication. I must admit that Francisco did find it irritating to try and communicate with me via my usual medium of telegram. So I will keep this short to not sully his reputation.

We opened up with a Triple Threat match between Fifi, James Cross and Apollo Vela for the Nextgen Heavyweight Championship. All 3 of these men have a history with Cross having been on the radar for the Nextgen belt for a long time and Apollo has been on the No 1 contenders radar for a while and has been wanting that belt. It was a close contest where it could have gone to anyone, but towards the end, Vela was taken out of the picture which left Cross and Fifi in the ring. Fifi put Cross away with the final destination to retain the Nextgen title. Fifi carries on strongly with his reign that has lasted over 100 days and shows no signs of stopping. Let’s see how long this lucky streak can carry on.

Next, we had a Tag Team Match up between Morgan Black and Niall Fairchild as they took on Kevin Isaac and Jordan Blaze. This was as extreme of a match as you can imagine without it being hardcore or a No DQ match with tons of high-intensity action with bodies flying, heavy strikes and tons of brutality throughout as the vicious one and the new angrier version of Kevin Isaac. Morgan and Niall being the two bigger men managed to hold them off but this new Doctrine of Violence were too much for the two CPW favourites to get by. The team of Isaac and Blaze may be in line for a shot at those tag team championships if they keep up with this pace, let’s see if Kevin can keep his promise of shaking CPW down.

Thirdly, we had a Fatal 4 Way Match for the CPW Galaxy Championship as Eli Conners defended against Bashby, Dingo and Drake Wynter. This was fast and furious throughout with Bashby being the MVP throughout which his fast and unpredictable offence. Dingo was taken out of the picture and Bashby soon followed which ended in a one on one between Eli and Drake which lead to Drake using all of his power to hoist up Eli for his Urinage Backbreaker to get the 2 count, Eli tried to fight back but after Drake and Dingo being sidelined, Bashby tore back in and hit Eli with the Claymore kick but Drake rolled Bashby out and covered to get the pin for 3 to become the new CPW Galaxy Champion. Eli left in tears, apologising to the crowd and it was pretty sad to see after he defended it with such honour. Now Drake has a piece of gold to add to his treasury.

We closed off the first half with a long-awaited rematch as George Lydon took on Steve Valentino. This was a great sequel to the match that they had when they first met when George was part of the G6 and Captain Steve wasn’t a vicious turncoat. It was similar to the match they had with a great display of athleticism, timing and mat grappling ability from both men, but this time it was George who got the better of the old Sea Dog as his short arm lariat was missed and George hooked under and behind before spinning him into the Ripcord Codebreaker. This knocked the wind out of Steve like it has every single person who has felt it and George got the win, making them 1 for 1. Steve reached out with the hand of respect and after one shake he slid out of the ring and stomped to the back. Someone suggested that George wear the Peter Pan outfit that someone brought along so he could take on the crooked Captain Hook. I had put money on this and no-one was willing to take me up on the offer that Steve was going to come to the show as a Pirate, my perception skills scare me sometimes.

During the break, myself, Fifi and Caitlyn all were judges for the costume contests for the young ones and the adults. The winners of the contest were Gemma Simmonds in the adult’s category as a zombie bride and Ava Carolan won the children’s bracket as Pennywise from the remake of IT. Well done to you both, they received prizes from the concessions stand including a t-shirt for a superstar of their choice. Some fantastic efforts were made with group outfits, great makeup and creative use of props. The masquerade with paper, rubber and painted faces on parade. You can come to my theatre at any time to take part in one of the great performances.

We opened up with the Tag Team Championship match as Saints of Sin defended against 666 Pack, or that’s how that it was supposed to go and Tommbie came out to face down the 666 Pack first, and we were going to start the match when Caitlyn dashed over with a message, revealing that a note had been left from Imperial Dragon. It said that he didn’t feel like showing up that night so good luck defending the belts alone. Tommbie rose to the challenge and took on the 666 pack by himself. The 666 decided to uphold the tag rule and go one on one and not do it Handicap rules where they could come in at any time. Tommbie fought bravely throughout the contest, taking attacks from both men individually and as a team.

At the end, the Dragon’s music played and an enraged Tommbie turned his back to the 666 Pack, yelling at the curtain, wanting to give Dragon a piece of his mind. However it was a ruse and the 666 came in and double-teamed Tommbie, taking him out with the Welcome to Hell and took those tag team belts back to Satan’s Layby. No one is safe in the title scene anymore, there has been a big shuffle over the past few months with lots of surprising people getting the belts. People who 18 months ago weren’t even in CPW. With the 666, only 6 months ago they weren’t in CPW. They are a dangerous team, and it was only by sheer luck that Team Madness got by them. The Saints of Sin did get by them at our last Nextgen show in Leicester but they were working on the same page. It didn’t stop them throwing Dragon around like he’s done to so many other CPW talents in his time. I can see them holding the belts for a long time.

Next, we had a Women’s division match as the debuting Myla Grace took on the returning Mariah May. Myla didn’t make a good impression with the crowd with her loud antics. Mariah put a stop to it be teeing off on her first and foiled a reversal by leaping over a charge and returned a dropkick. Followed by a snapmare which got a 2 count. Myla fought back and made a mockery of Mariah, before whipping her off and hitting a sit-out jawbreaker, followed by locking in a submission in the ropes. After a pin attempt, Myla got frustrated, but Mariah fought back and wrapped Myla in the ropes and chopped her twice before whipping her off, Myla countered but wasted too much time and missed an elbow. Mariah hit an elbow of her own and got a 2 count. After 2 reverse chin locks Mariah fought up and got back on the charge and used her agility to out quick Myla, hit an enziguiri and pinned her after a top rope cross body press to get the win. After the loss to Kat von Kaige, it’s great to see Mariah back in top form and getting back in the swing of things, we hope she returns to give us more. Myla has shown how talented she is too with her varied assault, showing that roughnecking works if it gets the job done. Hope we see them again soon.

We wrapped the show up with a tag team match as Will Starr & Morris of the Wrestling Mafia took the team of IQ3 & Mr Ace. Mr Ace tried to say they were the Accolade Aces (Gotten bored of Iron Serb have we, Ace?). Ace came up to me before Caitlyn announced the boys and ripped my mask and hat off to reveal the burned half of my face which horrified the CPW audience who saw it. The people were yelling at me to knock Mr Ace out for what he did, but I decided to stay professional and let the announcements happen. This was the test for Morris and Will Starr, could they put their differences aside and work together to beat Mr Ace and IQ3?

This match was fast-paced and lit the fire between IQ3 and Will once again, it also showed that Ace is becoming more and more able to rumble with the big boys as time has gone by. The big turning point in this match was when Will threw IQ3 into the ropes so hard that the top rope came off and IQ3 was thrown to the outside, taking a nasty fall on the apron and stairs. He bravely tried to fight on, even with Will suplexing him and getting him in position for the Elbow which was avoided. However, Ace came back into the ring and was outnumbered 2 to 1. It wrapped up with Ace getting Superkicked by Will, then NBO dropped by Morris before Will hit the big elbow and the match was over after the 3 count. Will and Morris celebrated in the ring but it soon came to a staredown once again as a microphone was requested. Morris and Will came to the agreement that at Xmas Tidings there would be a pair of Pick your Poison matches where you get your opponent and match stipulation picked by the other person, so we will get the information for that in the coming weeks before the Xmas tidings show. That about wraps up this spooktacular special and now I am going to retire to my lair to practice the organ as always.

For now, this is the Phantom of CPW retiring from public view. We shall be seeing you again at Superstars 3!

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